…when I retired. I really did. I had in my mind I would have 11 more hours of waking time to use….and I suppose, I DO but….I thought it would be more like 11 hours to goof off and not have any responsibilities. But…as a grown-up….there are so many responsibilities to tend to. I know that my 11 hours that I thought I would have will be given back to me someday. My lack of time is being used towards a means to an end. Moving to Wyoming. I have never lived in Wyoming. I bet I will like it though….for the most part anyways. I am accomplishing what I truly wanted to do when I was retired. I am purging material items. It is HARD to do this purging thing. Not that I am not good at getting rid of stuff but I am going through things and then after a week, I go through the box again. That gives me time to not be so impulsive and think about keeping something that I have not used yet or that I rarely use. I know I would like to keep a lot of keepsakes but to what end? None of them mean anything to my daughter and she will more than likely be the one who has to deal with all my crap when I cross over to the other side. I don’t want that for her. She has enough on her plate as it is. But then again, maybe she doesn’t have that much on her plate and I just think she does.

On top of purging my own items, I have my parents home to deal with too. My dad does not live there and there is so much “stuff” that is sitting there collecting dust. My aunty keeps it all clean but to what end? Until my dad passes away and we give it all to Goodwill? I am at a loss of what to do with the stuff, so I am letting it sit for a while…contemplating who might need something that is in the house. I think it is a little difficult for me to accept that I have two places to deal with but I guess, the situation is what I make of it, right? We all have free will and I can do what I want with it, when I want to.

But I digress….I really thought I would have more time! I hope you have more time in your life. Time to do what you want. Time to do what you must.

is a most healing thing. It blows away the past and brings in the future….it swirls around your body…healing winds to help your mind heal. A gentle wind brings back sweet memories…let them linger a while…then it whisks them away for another day. A brisk wind helps pivot you in the direction you need to go…pushing you into the day as you get tasks done. A wild wind swirling…building in crescendo….unleashes the anger and pain…screaming into the wind releases it from your body…carrying it away to power something or someone else wherever it lands.

I love all manners of wind…wind is like emotion…coming and going depending on the day…depending on those who you meet or avoid…one of Earth’s powers available for you to harness and use..for good or bad…dark or light…but mind you….wind has a mind of its own…be prepared to bend in the wind like the willow…

Can you withstand the storm if one comes? Wind can snap trees off…can snap you in two…but will it be your end? Don’t forget you have roots. Nourish them…allow them to grow deeply…this is your foundation…a way to remain steadfast in a storm.

The breeze is a most healing thing….

and we don’t even know it. We go through the daily motions of life and seem to miss the fact that they are the same motions…day in and day out. This can be comforting most times…not having to think about anything…just get up and repeat the day, every day. I’ve done this…I still do this a lot…less, now that I do not have to be at a work place Monday through Friday and some weekends. I have been in a type of job that is very left brain oriented for over 30 years. That is not a bad thing but I have weakened the right side of my brain and it is time to get it stronger. I have been away from many things that I enjoyed doing because of my job or the belief system that it was my responsibility to take care of others. I realize now that I short-changed a lot of people from their life learning experiences by helping them have an easier life.

I was fortunate enough yesterday to talk to a friend whom I have never talked to in person before. Her name is Faith. She has many of the same interests as I. During our conversation, she brought to light many things that may have had an impact on how I think or perceive things. She brought to light some things I have never even thought about. By the time we hung up, I had had many ah ha moments. I think it is good to talk to people who are not in your close-knit circle because they can see things from a different perspective.

As I said, she has some of the same interests as mine and I needed help in finding another way of doing something. I have had training to do my task but I was failing to accomplish it, so I thought…maybe there is another way of doing it. Come to find out, I didn’t need a new way to do something, I was seeing it from a left brain way (masculine) and not my right brain (feminine). Faith helped point this out to me. She pointed out many other things too and I feel like…I have a new lease on my life. She gave me new words to use and homefun (she hates the word homework…no one likes homework). I have already started the homefun. I really needed the push in the right direction. I hope now, once I accomplish this feminine strengthening and re-focus, I will be able to do my task well and proficiently (oops…that sounds waaaay too masculine)…I will be able to help people who need the help and do it well enough that they will benefit from my guidance.

Do you have anything in your life that you feel stuck in? Maybe talking to someone who is not part of your family, friends or tribe will benefit you. If you listen to your gut when you meet someone, you will find the one who will be able to help you on your next path in life.

Sha-La-Ma-Loke, my friends

and you will see me again.
I am always with you
even when you refuse to acknowledge this.
I am in the air you breathe
I am in the soil you touch
I am in the water you drink
I am in the sun that warms your skin
I am in the moon that lights the path at night
I am in the stars that twinkle bright…
all around you and in you…
I am there.

my dear
breathe in the sunshine.
tilt your head back
and…
blow them away.
the dark clouds are there
only because they are jealous.
they want you to feel
like they do.
they want to bring you down
to their level.
but…don’t fall for it.
you have the sun
and the moon
to help you.
you are made
of stardust…
which is something that…
cannot be destroyed.
close your eyes,
place your palms up,
breathe in…
think of something that
brings you much
JOY
this is most important…
think of JOY…
Yes….there is something that
brings you JOY…
a color
a flower
a pet
one…just ONE…
of your relatives
or a friend
it is there…
I know it is!
Find that one
kernel…of JOY.
Hold that feeling of JOY
in your chest…
breathe it in…
now
imagine
a crystal wand…
pointing down towards your head
feel more JOY
swirling out of the wand
spiraling…
down around your body
all the way
to your feet.
breathe in the JOY
feel it swirling around you
warming your skin
Now…
pull this feeling of JOY
into your heart.
THIS
is where it must rest.
nestle it there…
this JOY.
keep it there
don’t let anyone
take it from you…
it is
YOURS.
You can recall this JOY
anytime you need it.
Use it
to
blow the dark clouds
away.

…every day. You can start over every day. Just because you feel that you failed at something doesn’t mean you can’t try harder the next day. If you fail the next day, then try harder the next day. Remember this: There is no failure, only feedback. Each day is a new page in your book of life. You are the one who is writing it. YOU get to choose the words, the tone, the length….it’s all about YOU and YOUR experiences while living your current incarnation. You were given this life incarnation with the blessing of Free Will.

How do you exercise your free will? Do you allow others to tell you what to do? How to do it? Listen to what others have to say but listen to your gut for what your response, if you even need to give a response, should be. Free will is a hot commodity. There are some people who don’t want you to have free will. Keep it safe. Don’t let anyone take it away from you. Some people will try to guilt you into listening to them. Your free will will help you make decisions that are right for YOU. Sometimes you must make hard decisions in order to keep your free will. Sometimes your free will will tell you to agree with whatever you are faced…and that is okay. YOU made the choice. One thing you need to remember though….EVERYONE is blessed with free will. This means you, yourself, do not have the right to force another to agree with your own decisions. Your religious choice, your health choices, your sexual preference….they are YOUR choices…and they do not have to be the same ones anyone else chooses. Nor do others choices need to have your agreement.

If you choose to eat a certain way due to a religious path…so be it. No one else has to choose your path or way of eating. Why? Because they have been blessed with free will. If your choices of sexual partners are not the same as anyone else’s…so what? You do you. They don’t have to agree with you. Why? Because they have free will. For some reason, many people in this world feel that everyone has to accept you AND agree with your decisions. Actually, that is incorrect. They do not HAVE to accept you and they do not HAVE to agree with you. Why? Because they have free will.

But remember, there is a price for exercising your free will. Sometimes you have to give up something to have keep your free will. Many people on this planet gave up their job because they were forced to have a medical procedure they did not agree with. They exercised their free will and walked away rather than have the medical procedure. Some people said they had no choice but to have the medical procedure. That is not true. They CHOSE to keep their current job and income by having that medical procedure. It was their choice. They could have made the choice to not get it…yes, they would have lost their income and home but….that is the funny thing about free will…sometimes the choice to exercise our free will is hard and we lose things.

You may feel that I have strayed from the point I was making at the beginning of this post…but I haven’t. What I am trying to convey to YOU is: You NEVER fail anyone but yourself. You fail when you do not honor your free will. This is why you need to try harder the next day. If someone is trying to tell you that you failed…did you? Or did you not agree to their opinion? See? They have free will to their opinion and you have free will to agree with them but….if you do not agree with what they are saying, then you did not fail. And failure is only temporary because tomorrow is a new day. A new start. And we all have free will to make the choices we want each and every day.

Tomorrow is a new day. Exercise your free will. If you are not happy with your choices….make better ones tomorrow. You will not fail if you keep trying.

to YOU…
to ALL…

Jason Shurka message

it is important to our world
don’t just sit there and wait for the daddy state to save you
they are part of the problem
they are not saving you
they do not care about you
if they did
they would allow you to
exercise your free will
but they aren’t…

…mixes with my tears….
as the wetness rolls down my face…
the ache in my heart…
radiating outward
the pain has no place to go…
it swirls around inside me…
hoping…one day…
to be replaced..
with what…
I do not know
the “what if”
the “but why”
will never be answered
we are here
points of light
gathered together into a shape
that makes sense to those looking at us
a spiritual being
having a human moment…
in the rain…
the sorrow of knowing
that free will
comes in all shades
and we…
can only be…
in charge of ourselves.
may one day…
all will see
our spiritual selves…
those points of light…
and sorrow will be
no more.

while I smell this flower…
Oh look! See this tiny frog?
Look at all of these different mosses gathered on one tree…
See? Even different species of mosses can live together without fighting…
oh my…all these colors of green…
blades of grass
leaves
lichen
tiny plants….so many to see
As I lift a leaf…a tiny newt was hidden from prying eyes…
Are you waiting for me?
I see that you finally stopped…
am I taking too much of your time?
but look at this tiny little purple flower…
pale violet…close to the ground…
see the fiddlehead fern unfurling?
you can eat these, you know?
there ya go…the ORIGINAL edibles 101…lesson for the day…
see these tiny mushrooms?
Do you know how many miles mycelium runs underground?
fungi can save the world if we let them…
can you smell it?
musty
moldy
damp and wet
organic matter breaking down
it smells like Vetiver…
one of my favorite essential oils…
if you cared to know…
are you waiting for me?
No?
it’s okay…
actually, it’s not…
but God can take that up with you later…
I will take my time…
savor each moment to its fullest…
someday…
I hope you wait for
me….

I visited the EES center a third time. More to fix what I screwed up than anything else. You see, these visits…they have actually been helping me…helping my small intestine reduce the inflammation, which in turn, helps my hiatal hernia. Now, I am figuring out what I am doing incorrectly…why the pain comes back and it is all my fault. In order to maintain the anti-inflammatory effects of the EES, I need to change my daily habits. I need to eat smaller portions. I need to quit Starbuck’s completely, I need to follow an anti-inflammatory diet until I am fully healed. Maybe the habit of eating only whole foods will stick and I won’t have to worry about much of anything ever again. Well, old age but that would be a good thing to worry about. I am working towards healing myself…getting over the hump of eating processed foods is not hard for me but I do love to taste certain food items, like the Starbuck’s Pink Drink.

This visit…I once again felt the coolness, the feeling of more room in my intestines. Free-er breathing. It feels so good! I feel like my whole body is smaller…de-puffed. I felt the usual tingles in my face and at my hairline. I tried to focus on emptying my mind but…it was hard…there was a young girl there using the system….it was warm in the room but this girl was bundled like she was ready to hit the slopes. I was fascinated with all of the clothing she had on…hoodie, fur ruff hooded puffy coat, scarf…a padded and fuzzy eye covering…gloves, fuzzy socks, slippers…I was kinda warm and sweaty…she looked like she was headed to Antarctica.

I use the EES room for two hours. Some people are in the room for four hours or more. I have trouble being immobile for two hours…I highly doubt I could sit there for four. Reading other users testimonials implies that, the longer you are in there, the better the results. Does EES fix everything? I do not know. I know that it helps most people and if you never try it, you will never know if it can help you. I am a firm believer on trying things out for yourself. To not try all things available to you in your search for healing really does short-change yourself. If you base all of your opinions on somene elses view, your belief is weak..not yours…not based upon any truth. To go in with pre-conceived results is short-changing yourself too…have no expectations…after using it, take notice of things that are different. That is what you are looking for: changes. I hope that everyone who reads this tries the EES for at least, three two-hour sessions. I would love to hear waht you felt during and after the sessions.