Walk with me

Walk with me…
not in front or behind but…
beside me.

Hold my hand in yours…
not loose
not tight but…
don’t let me go.

Talk with me…
to me

Learn to listen well
I have much to say…
if you don’t pay attention
you shall miss it all

I am here this time
to speak of love…
of ALL
not love of things
of all living beings

Don’t miss this message
I have been brought back to deliver
to you
to ALL

It is a message to the world but…
can only be told…
to one person at a time.

Once you have heard
and remember the message…
you are to pass it on…
one person at a time.

Can you do this for me?
I don’t ask for much from you but…
this one thing…
to talk about love
of ALL
of ALL living beings.

Becoming a writer

How does one become a writer? Anyone can become a writer…getting published is another matter. As with most things in life, becoming a writer requires work…finding time to write each day…figuring out what to write about…is it interesting to others? I write a lot for my job…most times I have no desire to come home and write a blog piece…most times, I don’t have time to write. It is much easier for me to correspond with people through email….I love email conversations…I love answering people’s questions…sometimes, I send an email to my daughter just so I have someone to “talk” to….most times she never answers. Which is the same thing that happens on my blog….no one leaves comments or asks questions. I guess that is okay though…I’m mostly blogging to heal myself. This website seems to be morphing into a journal. I have many things to say but am having trouble putting them into words. I shall figure it out though. Eventually.

Next month I retire from my current job. A good paying job…I was asked by a co-worker what I was going to do once I retire…if I was going to find another job…I’m thinking…if I wanted to work, I’d stay where I am at because the pay is like no other. Even though I will have to be careful with my retirement income, I want to be able to volunteer someplace. Someplace that deals with the homeless or animals or visiting people who get no visitors…I want to be of help to someone. That is what I like to do in life…help people. I am hoping this blog site will help others someday.

Someday I would also like to make videos on Vimeo and post them here….there is so much to see on this planet and so much to talk about. Maybe one day I can do some interviews and post them here. I’m sure that are plenty of people who have something to say but their voice has been stifled over the years. Maybe I can help them feel heard.

Do you feel heard? Do people listen to what you say or do you feel like they are just waiting for you to stop talking so they can go on a different tangent and make it all about themselves? I think our planet is lacking in listeners….it’s a good skill to have…

Hmmm…this post was to be about becoming a writer….maybe I have just turned it into becoming a blatherer…..

There is no future in the past

Recently, I have been sought out by an ex. He apparently thinks I am his sounding board. I did not ask for this. Honestly…I do not care to read any journal entries as he tries to sort out his life. I truly do not care. Going on four decades and he still can’t get over the past? That isn’t my problem. I am not his family. I am not his friend. We are not together. I live on the West Coast. He lives on the East Coast. I like it this way. If all my exes would move to the East Coast, that would be fantastic! Or Alaska. I highly doubt I will ever visit Alaska. I would like to see the East Coast though. So maybe one ex ruining the East Coast is enough. He talks about “death do us part” and how he believed in our vows and that they meant something. I am unsure what he is referring to when he talks about death….is he suicidal? I am unsure. I do not suffer from any mental illnesses so I am unsure what he means when he says this. I’m mostly worried that he will show up in my driveway and have in his head that the only way we shall part is through our deaths. There seems to be a lot of murder-suicides showing up on the news lately. Should I be afraid? I don’t think he will harm me…he’ll probably only harm himself. I’m bummed that I had to block calls and texts from him…why couldn’t “leave me alone” be enough? Why do some people feel entitled to ignore your requests?

What I want to focus on is….here is a man who is stuck in the past….his future has not unfolded because he is wrapped up in something that never was. And most people who have suffered a trauma seem to be stuck in the past…either reliving the moment in time in which the trauma occurred or accusing their current relationship of the things that they themselves were accused of long, long ago. Stuck in a vicious loop…unable to move forward. Most people seem to treat their trauma with meds. I believe this to be a bad choice for a lot of people. It is a bandaid….numbing you from the pain you feel…it does not fix anything…it just allows you to exist but never thrive. But…since we are all here due to our choosing and we are living our lives through our own freewill…it isn’t up to me how someone gets through their daily existence.

For those who spend their days reliving their past….what are you gaining? How much time are you spending looking back instead of looking forward? How can you ever create new experiences when you keep bringing up things that have already happened? Just because some trauma happened does not mean the same thing is going to keep happening. You should be able to make better choices now because you have experience in living through this trauma. This is what we are supposed to do with life experiences…LEARN.

My life was turned upside down one time. I was in shocked for several months…trying to figure out what I did wrong or where I failed to see what was happening behind the scenes. I never figured it out but I still had to move on, right? Instead of spiraling into a depression, I chose to treat my chaos using a book called “Walking Your Blues Away” by Thom Hartmann. The process boils down to something similar to hypnosis but swinging your arms while walking creates a similar effect….the back and forth…one side of your brain talking to the other side of your brain…back and forth….allowing you to make your trauma “flat” so it does not give you the fight or flight syndrome. It is a very interesting process and it worked for me. On top of teaching me how to accept my current state of living, I lost a lot of weight from all of the walking. There are a lot of non-invasive treatments out there for depression and other types of trauma. You have to try them to see if they will work for you. If you make a judgement on a type of treatment without trying it out for several months….you just end up with an OPINION based upon nothing but your OPINION. Nothing fact based, which is really of no value to anyone. Opinions are like assholes…everyone has one. Is your opinion valuable to anyone if it has no facts to back it up? Nope.

How about Biofeedback? A fantastic treatment that can help those who have suffered emotional and physical traumas. You are exchanging your feeling about a trauma with another feeling that does not bring fear into your head…similar to Walking Your Blues Away…you are making the trauma flat, so it does not have an effect on you when you think about it. See…your brain does not know what is real and what isn’t…so you can change your story and live a better life.

If I can change my story, you can too. You just have to keep searching until you find the right treatment for you. Preferably something that does not have you ingesting man-made drugs on a daily basis.

I love you. Please take care of yourself.

If I close my eyes….

….I don’t have to see all the things that cause me pain. If I close my eyes and put ear muffs on…I don’t have to hear all the things that cause me pain either. The blessed quiet..similar to floating in a lake….muffled noise….almost like there isn’t any noise at all…..the constant noise every day for hours on end… If I close my eyes and put my muffs on…I get to experience some peace…blessed peace…

Most of what I held dear has been taken away from me, if not physically…then emotionally. Things that made me happy have been criticized, belittled…cut down. Of course those things weren’t perfect, I know that, but they were mine. I’ve had to start over so many times…trying to not get attached to anything material because it can be gone in an instant.

If I close my eyes, I don’t have to see….if I close my heart, I don’t have to feel.

And here I sit….

I am not good at being sick. I tell myself that I don’t have time to be sick and most of the time, I really don’t have the time to be laid up. Sometimes the Universe says, SCREW YOU, and throws something into your body that makes you stay at home, actually stay in the bed and eat very little. Thank you for nothing, Universe. I’ve no idea what bug has invaded my body but it won its mission. I went to be on Friday feeling like crap and couldn’t get out of bed all day Saturday and finally made it out of the sheets by 10:00 a.m. on Sunday…still feeling like shit but my body hurt so bad from laying prone for so long….I had to move. Any movement while standing made me dizzy and it is 11:49 a.m. on Monday and I am still dizzy. If I move slowly, I am able to move easily. It is easier to swallow now…not as much pain but still feels like I am swallowing over a bolder. And…due to the stress from being sick and being an inconvenience to my household, I developed a cold sore. Yippy fucking skippy.

I am wondering if using the EES system while I was at the beginning stages of sickness compounded my issues. The EES effects you at the cellular level and maybe it tweaked something to force me to get sick in hopes of fixing something else. One thing I have noticed is that my breathing is still free and clear…it feels so open. Usually I breathe and feel like my lungs don’t have enough room to expand but since visiting the EES, I seem to have more room in my body. Also, I noticed when I ate some chicken last night for dinner, it did not give me pain. I usually have pain in that hiatal hernia area whenever I eat meat or something really thick, like bread or boiled egg. Maybe this sickness allowed the inflammation in my body to continue decreasing. Wouldn’t it be nice if I can continue doing EES and fix my hiatal hernia? A good majority of people think only doctors can fix your body when it is broken. The medical establishment is great for emergencies but you were given a body with everything needed to keep it healthy and to repair injuries as they come up. We make ourselves sick by choosing processed foods and man-made quick meals. In the past I have tried to show people that the food they are eating aren’t good for them but they don’t want to believe it and don’t want to change. I used to get mad but now I just accept the fact that they will be sick for the rest of their lives and that is their path. I quit trying to help people. If they want to believe that when you get a certain age it is normal to take blood pressure meds, diabetic meds, cholesterol meds…so be it. It’s their money to waste and their life span to shorten. I know that society is going to get a clue one day about how the powers that be have been purposely making the people of this planet sick…it’s just a matter of time. I do hope though that I get to see it in my lifetime.

Energy Enhancement System – second time

Yesterday was my second time of using the EES treatment. There were more people in the room this time, which is encouraging and a bit sad. Encouraging that people are trying other treatments that are not invasive to the body or require you to take a pill to cover up a symptom. Sad because people are even having to search out these types of modalities. This means that the medical system failed them. Additionally, I’m proud and worried at the same time. Proud that, so far, I’ve seen only women using the treatment…sad that they are having to do so in the first place but also…no men. Why aren’t the men using the treatment?

My reactions to the treatment this time are similar but I feel like I went into the treatment feeling sick to begin with. My body got too cold the day before, which usually, makes me feel achy and displaying cold symptoms. Running nose, achy body…still very cold. The rain and traffic did not help me be relaxed when I arrived either. But…I felt tingling around my left eye today…some tingling on my face and the coolness in my solar plexus. This leads me to believe that this treatment is getting rid of my inflammation that seems to be in my body most of the time. I know that I need to make some food changes to keep these results working but…habits die hard. I feel that, if I could have some anti-inflammatory teas already made up and in the fridge and have plenty of cooling herbs and fruit at my finger tips…I’d have something to grab rather than craving the sugar. Purging the cupboards would help because there are plenty of things that are in there that are not helpful to my body and none of it my husband touches anyway…so a good pantry and cupboard purge would help. Additionally, after using the EES, one is supposed to take pink salt bathes…not Epsom salt bathes…Epsom salts are not even salts….but using pink Himalayan sea salt help pull the toxins out of your body.

I will be using the EES again in a couple weeks. No, insurance does not cover the cost but sometimes we just have to step up to the plate and care about ourselves more than the Sick Care system that is forced upon us.

Energy Enhancement System…first time

On my way to my very first Energy Enhancement System (EES) session, Raven met me at the stop sign. I paused to check traffic and noticed Raven up above, coming from my left. I bid good day to him and turned right. He flew above me at 35 mph until I got the the stop light. When one sees Raven, it means a change, a start of something new, that you are on the right path for you. I took this as a good sign because I did not know what to expect at my EES session. Today is a research day, a day to see and experience what others have talked about and given good testimonials about.
I do not fully understand the way EES works but I liken it to something God designed and some super, intelligent humans constructed it so people could use it to better their health. I’ve not read a bad testimonial as of yet. I am looking forward to posting my testimonial after I have sat with my results for a week or so.
The healing center I went to is called Divine Living Ministries located in Tacoma. It is a PMA (Private Membership Association) and I am pleased by this. Their set-up is very unconventional and un-spa-like. I liked it this way. It was focused on the devices that help your body heal and not all wrapped up in the fancy and frills that usually get added to your costs.
The room sat eight and there were two other ladies already doing their sessions when I got there, so I did not feel un-safe. I would try to explain what the devices looked like but you can look that up yourself. I am going to focus on what I felt and what I walked away with.
About 30 minutes into the session, the right side of my face and jaw started to tingle. I have felt this sensation in the past when two ladies were doing Reiki on me. I felt a tingling where I had a pre-cancerous mole removed. It was like their healing went deeper than the surgery occurred and their healing energy was catching cells that were missed. Anyhow, back to my EES session….I am unaware if I have some rogue cells in my face but maybe I do and this session helped point them in the right direction for healing. I sat in the EES room for two hours. This is a long time of being still that I am not used to. It is different when you can hunker down and take a nap for two hours at home but I was afraid to fall asleep and accidentally go past my two hours. About 1-1/2 hours into the session, my body got really warm and fluffy feeling. My face started to feel like it was floating away…almost like the cells were leaving my face and dispersing to the wind…like I was turning into dust. Once my session was over, I put my shoes on and gathered myself up to leave. On my drive back home, I tried to process what I was feeling. I felt different but was unsure what exactly had changed. I realized my vision was sharper. I felt lighter in my body. It was easier to breathe. The area around my diaphragm felt freer. The space above my naval, about a six inch circle felt empty, cool….I realized that it possibly meant that the area was less inflamed. I have a hiatal hernia in this area and maybe the EES session reduce the inflammation. It makes a bit of sense…freer breathing, feeling of coolness in that spot.
I am excited to see what changes continue to occur as the week goes on. I will do another two hour session in a couple weeks because I want to see if there are additional changes to my health. I will continue my research on this EES modality. I want my opinion on it based upon experience and not based upon others feedback.
I hope you try this EES modality out too. If you do, let me know in a comment how it went for you.

Even the Universe knows…

I was outside pottying the pup…looking up at the stars…looking for my favorite constellation, The Seven Sisters….upon finding it, I thought to myself…I do not deserve to be treated poorly. Once that thought left my head…a shooting star crossed the exact spot I was looking at…See? Even the Universe knows it to be true.

I wish others knew this too.

Stand up for the Human Race

** Here is a link to my article that was posted on elephant journal in case you would like to check out some other good reads posted by some other good humans: https://www.elephantjournal.com/2022/11/speak-up-for-the-human-race/ **

I heard about what has been happening in Iran a couple days ago. I wondered if anyone that I followed on YouTube was going to say something about it….the following video is the first one I have seen addressing it. These incarcerated people are part of us. They are part of the only race that counts: the human race. They are being punished for speaking up for their rights. The same thing happens here in the U.S., more subtly but, so far, we haven’t been put to death. I read in another article (but for the life of me, I cannot find it again) where the teenage girls who are currently incarcerated who are virgins cannot be put to death because they are “innocents”. So these virgins are being married to the prison guards, raped and then killed the next day. There always seems to be a work-around for evil religious extremists. I hope this video gets the attention it needs to stop bullshit deaths.

Have you ever heard of hand mudras?

Most of us who are curious about meditation have seen them before but I did not know they were called hand mudras. Possibly the most common one is the Gyan mudra where the tips of the index finger and thumb touch creating a closed circle with the three remaining fingers held parallel to each other. We often see this hand gesture resting on the knees as a person is sitting cross-legged while meditating. Hand mudras work by activating the corresponding organ in the body to facilitate the flow of energy, Prana. ‘Mudra’ is a Sanskrit word that literally means ‘hand gesture’. During my research, I found lists for diabetes, weight loss, weight gain, relieving body pain, a healthy heart. I found a list of hand mudras that are most effective to lose weight, which is something that I am interested in doing. Surya mudra, Linga mudra, Kapha-Nashak mudra, Vaayan mudra and Gyan mudra all correspond with organs and bodily functions that relate to being over-weight.

I am setting a goal for myself to try this for 30 days and then evaluate any differences in my weight and my health. I am curious to see if the benefits will be visual or something inside that I cannot see but can feel. Even if I can only meditate ten minutes a day, that allows me to try each mudra for 2 minutes.

I am going to make time to test these mudras and see if they work for me. How about you? Are you interested in trying them out?