My Kintsugi Heart

Someone breaks my heart daily.  I don’t take it personally.  I’m sure it wasn’t intentional, right? Surely someone wouldn’t purposely cause harm to a very delicate item.  Strangers have broken my heart…you know, those people who are talking down to their kids in a store…emotionally abusing them in public…yes, those people break my heart. The ones who abuse animals…oh my…I think that makes the biggest crack in it….the parent who uses their child as a pawn in a divorce? Yes…that cracks my heart too…that caregiver who backhands an elder…that makes a jagged gash to my heart…but people close to me break my heart too…those verbal bitch slaps sure do sting…the family member who doesn’t see the point in living any longer…those are rough ones to handle…the arrogant ones who think they know so much…you know, the ones who are book smart but light on life experience? Yeah…those make my heart twinge…possible internal damage to a chamber.  Again…I try to not take it personal, you know? I know…deep down inside, these hurtful people are good people…they weren’t born bad or mean…then again, maybe they were…but still…I try to see the Light in everyone…sometimes I have to look really hard but I always find it eventually.  I have a secret way to repair the damage…do you want to know what it is?  You can use it too…it is called Kintsugi…the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold, silver or platinum…it is how I mend my heart…I imagine a little paintbrush dabbing liquid gold on the ragged edge and then these heavenly hands come and hold the wound together as it dries…these hands have shown up to help me so many times over the years…it took me many years to accept whose hands were helping me but I got there eventually…in my own way…in my own time…my heart still gets broken daily but that is okay…my heart is beautiful with the gold lacing across it…it is a work of art, you know? Almost like filigree…but thicker in some places because those breaks were so deep…I suppose…as I near the end of this life…my heart may be more gold than flesh…and that is okay…I will still look for that Light in others until there is no more Light in me.


Yesterday I was getting the mail from the box and there was this painted rock on one of the stones…it was of an owl and on the backside of the rock was the word, SMILE.  It is a current trend to paint rocks and leave them around the county for others to find. You can leave them or move them to someplace new. I left it where it was. This morning I took the dog out and I could hear a Barred Owl cooing across the road in the trees. I love listening to them talk to each other and the cute noises they make. Today the owl flew out from the tree and glided around the edge of the tree line and past the side of the house. I love it when they do this! Owls are one of my favorite birds to watch and listen to. Owls deliver messages from the other side. When you see an owl, it usually means that change is coming. Some cultures believe that when you see an owl, there is going to be a death. The death could be of a person you know or it could be the death of a relationship or job…seeing an owl means: change. I wonder what change is coming my way? In what ways have animals brought you messages?

Pieces of You

Have you noticed that some events that happen in your life leave you a bit…less whole? Some occurrence left you a little bit fearful, a little bit anxious, a little bit less trusting…on the outside you appear whole but there is this little, nagging thing that just doesn’t feel right to you. Somehow…you lost a piece of yourself along the way.

Over the years, a few more holes in your armor come about. Childhood abuse, a divorce here, a break-up there, loss of a pet, loss of a family member, domestic violence, addictions re-surface….depression sets in. You are running out of coping mechanisms.

All these incidences take a little piece of you…a piece of your soul.

Conventionally we treat these missing pieces by labeling the disease/disorder and taking anti-depressants, using some form of psycho-therapy or counseling, prescribed medication, self-medicating by drinking copious amounts of alcohol, street drugs, cutting….sometimes ending in a last result effort to take away the pain: suicide. Often these treatment plans can go on for years, emptying your bank account, your self-esteem, your belief systems, your mind….and still…no cure.

Conventionally, we are treating the symptom and not the source of the disease or disorder.There are other methods of treatments. Old ways. Traditional ways. Traditional medicine. Traditional healing.

The old ways treated these disorders using prayers, herbal remedies, laying-on of hands, eating certain foods, sweat lodges, plant medicine and soul retrieval. All these methods worked until someone came along and told us they didn’t. That our ways were evil. When we chose to not listen and practiced our traditional medicine anyway, they suppressed our ways by destroying our reputations, our homes, our businesses…. sometimes they took our lives. Those who survived continued to practice underground or fled to other areas where conventionalists had not reached yet. We knew our traditional healing ways worked and we weren’t ready to give them up.

There is a resurfacing of the traditional ways. Traditional ways still work. One traditional healing method has been having an uprising in interest: shamanism.

Shamans are found all over the globe. Some are men. Some are women. Many people have been trained in shamanistic techniques but that doesn’t make them a shaman. Each shaman has their own way of using their tribe’s traditional medicine.

One shamanistic tool is called soul retrieval. Someone trained in this technique journeys to the Other Levels of the World with your animal helpers to find your missing soul pieces, they convince them to come back and then they deliver them back into your possession. Once you have your soul pieces back in your possession, it is your responsibility to come to peace with them, invite them back into your life, help these hurt pieces heal themselves so that they will stay and not leave again in order for your soul to be whole once more. Soul retrieval can be hard work. It is not a passive treatment method. If you’ve been disconnected from yourself for many years, you will have your work cut out for you. You don’t just sit back and let someone else do all the work. Soul retrieval requires acceptance, forgiveness and the openness of self-love.

For those who are tired of the pills, the repeated discussion of “how do you really feel”, tired of feeling like you are shattered….and are ready to be healed and feel whole again…a soul retrieval can be a life saver. Maybe this type of treatment will work for you. When looking for a facilitator for soul retrieval, ask about their training, how long they’ve been practicing shamanistic techniques, interview them to ensure you find someone who is the right fit for you. You must feel safe with this person because, after all, they will be bringing back very delicate pieces of your soul and you want them handled with care.


My wings lift me from the ground as their tips brush the dusty road below. Each pump raises me higher. The wind ruffles my feathers as I cut through the air. I ascend until I am above the tree tops. Surfing along, I look down to see what is below. I am cloaked in darkness but my eyes make it appear to be a monochrome landscape… differing shades of grey and black. Silently, I glide along looking for nothing in particular… just observing. The wind sliding over my feathers brings me great joy. Flying brings me great joy! I descend until I am coasting above a field. The tall grass tips tickling my chest. Small eyes look upward in fear as I silently pass by. They relax when they realize that I have let them live another day. As I come to the end of the field, I bank to the right to avoid an oncoming tree and dart upwards until I am above the tree tops again. I pump my wings a few times to gather speed and lift. I fly towards the east looking for the sunrise. The yellow glow is on the horizon’s curve, hovering there waiting for the perfect time to announce the new day. The sun slides upward, rays branching across the sky like open arms welcoming the crisp morning air. I close my eyes and glide along feeling the warmth of today’s sun soaking into my body. I give voice to a screech thanking Mother Earth for her glorious gifts she unselfishly gives each day. I turn and head west so that I can feel the sun on my back. Heading  back to my resting place, I navigate myself through the trees until I find the perfect branch to settle upon. I land, traverse back along the branch until I am closer to the tree body. I rest my shoulders, let my head settle into a comfortable position and close my eyes. I sigh and smile to myself, happy inside from my exhilarating flight. Content, I drift into a dream state as I rest my body for a while.

I’ll meet you…

I’ll meet you in the space between… where pasts and futures collide.  It will be good to see you, my love and to hear of the lives you’ve lived since we parted. I hope you’ve lived each one fully and have mastered what you and Jesus planned for you to learn. I myself am done… twenty-one under my belt… love, death, pain, divorce, loss, riches, bliss… the ebb and flow of life has finally ended for me. Be a quick learner, my dear, so we may meet again and never part! Together again, we can walk hand in hand through the doors of time. We can spend our time parting the mist between the worlds and extend a helping hand to those crossing the sea of life. 

What are the Akashic Records?

The Akashic Records are a record of your soul’s journey, from the time you first individuate from Source until you finally return home. This can take millennia. But no matter how new or ancient of a Soul you are, the Akashic energy holds all your thoughts, feelings, actions and deeds from each lifetime. Many people imagine the Akashic Record as a library with each book representing a lifetime. Some people look at the Records as a computer with all of your info stored in the hard drive. Truth is, the Akashic Field is part of and connected to the All; in everyone and everything. You have your own masters, Teachers and Beings of Light that keep track of this information, just for you. We can access these masters & Teachers and they will answer your personal questions about this life and the past lives which are affecting you today.

When you realize that you came into this life with a plan, it becomes very useful to access the information about that plan. We come to complete some Karma, fulfill our past life vows or to be with someone special and to support people who are part of our soul family. The human challenge is that as soon as we’re born, we forget this plan. At limes in our life we feel blocked or constricted or disappointed in our life because we don’t remember why we chose our families or situations. We may feel life is unfair or very difficult. I access the Akashic Records to retrieve guidance, information during times of transition, grief, indecision or when in need of guidance in general. You can ask questions in relation to: health, career, relationships, life purpose, self-esteem and abundance. We format our questions to the Akashic Record using How, What, Why. The Akashic Record does not answer Yes or No questions.

You might experience some of these limitations in the following ways:

  • Feel you are carrying too much baggage? Sometimes this looks like extra weight.
  • Are you stuck in a rut? Maybe you hate your job but can’t seem to change.
  • Feeling spaced out and tired? Too many people in your space, holding you back.
  • Overcome with emotions? Trauma from this life or past lives can affect you.
  • Depressed? Angry? Frustrated? Let’s find the core to start healing that.

Akashic Record Readings are done over the phone.

What is Therapeutic Touch?

ttpa-logo-e1552090568134.pngTherapeutic Touch (TT) is a holistic, evidence-based therapy that incorporates the intentional and compassionate use of the universal energy to promote balance and well-being in all aspects of the individual: body, mind, and spirit.

The most reliable effects of Therapeutic Touch are:

  • Elicits the relaxation response
  • Alleviates pain
  • Accelerates the healing response

Other effects:

  • Reduce anxiety, aggressive behavior
  • Regulate and support the immune function
  • Palliative care or care of the terminally ill
  • Reduce the effects of chemo and radiation
  • Stress Management
  • Fever reduction
  • Chronic illness
  • Chemical withdrawal

A session of TT consists of the client sitting in a chair (or a bed if client is in Hospice) while I assesses for irregularities of energy. I then modulate these energies to create an even energy flow. This modality does not require physical touch but can include it depending on what is found during the assessment. TT is not faith healing; it is fueled by compassion and intention. Treatments are 20-30 minutes in length. TT can also be done via a distance healing session.