…and all you can do is say what.the.fuck?

My dad got sicker at the beginning of July and on July 13th, he died. I was there. I thought he was just sick from eating his breakfast but not long after, I knew he was dying. I wonder if he knew too? Did he know that throwing up was the beginning of the end?

Since that day, my life has been turned upside down. I went from calling my dad each evening at 7 pm to not talking to him at all. I have had to deal with an estate, people who took advantage of him and pay bills for things that are not mine. I have yet to mourn. I hope that someday I will get the chance. But for now….I keep moving forward on getting rid of almost 40 years of accumulation of “stuff”. I’ve been trying to find homes for the keepsakes. A lot of the stuff is older than 40 years because they brought it with them when they moved into this current home. I have learned that not all family members are as honest as they make themselves out to be and one relative took advantage of a dying man. But she no longer lives in my parents home and she no longer lives in this state. There really is no sense in arguing about any of it because it boils down to her word against a dead man who cannot speak for himself. There is a checkbook ledger and a credit card bill that speaks for itself though. She can tell her lies and half truths all she wants to those who want to believe her but they are only getting one side of the story. Karma is a bitch, so she will be held accountable one of her lives.

During this home purge, I have discovered many things. Some that make me smile, some that piss me off…some that leave me shaking my head. A few of those will be discussed in future posts. One thing that I have realized is that, we spend entirely too much money on cards. Yes, cards. Birthday cards, mother’s day cards, father’s day cards….cards in general. My parents kept them. They kept letters and notes from people who contacted them over the years. Some are nice to read, others pissed me off. Looking at all of these things made me realize that my parents were generous to others, often times, too generous. They gave people the benefit of the doubt and got screwed over in the end. I got to see the paper trail of a business deal with a friend that ended in a bankruptcy. The path of trying to get financial help for my brother who was dying form Alzheimer’s Disease. Letters from family pissed that my parents chose to use my brother’s money to pay for his own care instead of giving it to his kids as an inheritance. I have washed my hands from these people decades ago and to see what they wrote to my parents pisses me off. But they too will die someday and have to pay the Karma Bill.

This death has put what my husband and I wanted to do on hold. I hope this whole thing gets wrapped up sooner than later and we can move forward on our own plans.

Even though it might be difficult at times, keep being kind to each other. From this death, I have made re-connections with people I have not talked to in decades, which is a good thing. I have also learned to be less trusting with family members and their “good”intentions.

Peace Out Homies….