….I don’t have to see all the things that cause me pain. If I close my eyes and put ear muffs on…I don’t have to hear all the things that cause me pain either. The blessed quiet..similar to floating in a lake….muffled noise….almost like there isn’t any noise at all…..the constant noise every day for hours on end… If I close my eyes and put my muffs on…I get to experience some peace…blessed peace…

Most of what I held dear has been taken away from me, if not physically…then emotionally. Things that made me happy have been criticized, belittled…cut down. Of course those things weren’t perfect, I know that, but they were mine. I’ve had to start over so many times…trying to not get attached to anything material because it can be gone in an instant.

If I close my eyes, I don’t have to see….if I close my heart, I don’t have to feel.

I am not good at being sick. I tell myself that I don’t have time to be sick and most of the time, I really don’t have the time to be laid up. Sometimes the Universe says, SCREW YOU, and throws something into your body that makes you stay at home, actually stay in the bed and eat very little. Thank you for nothing, Universe. I’ve no idea what bug has invaded my body but it won its mission. I went to be on Friday feeling like crap and couldn’t get out of bed all day Saturday and finally made it out of the sheets by 10:00 a.m. on Sunday…still feeling like shit but my body hurt so bad from laying prone for so long….I had to move. Any movement while standing made me dizzy and it is 11:49 a.m. on Monday and I am still dizzy. If I move slowly, I am able to move easily. It is easier to swallow now…not as much pain but still feels like I am swallowing over a bolder. And…due to the stress from being sick and being an inconvenience to my household, I developed a cold sore. Yippy fucking skippy.

I am wondering if using the EES system while I was at the beginning stages of sickness compounded my issues. The EES effects you at the cellular level and maybe it tweaked something to force me to get sick in hopes of fixing something else. One thing I have noticed is that my breathing is still free and clear…it feels so open. Usually I breathe and feel like my lungs don’t have enough room to expand but since visiting the EES, I seem to have more room in my body. Also, I noticed when I ate some chicken last night for dinner, it did not give me pain. I usually have pain in that hiatal hernia area whenever I eat meat or something really thick, like bread or boiled egg. Maybe this sickness allowed the inflammation in my body to continue decreasing. Wouldn’t it be nice if I can continue doing EES and fix my hiatal hernia? A good majority of people think only doctors can fix your body when it is broken. The medical establishment is great for emergencies but you were given a body with everything needed to keep it healthy and to repair injuries as they come up. We make ourselves sick by choosing processed foods and man-made quick meals. In the past I have tried to show people that the food they are eating aren’t good for them but they don’t want to believe it and don’t want to change. I used to get mad but now I just accept the fact that they will be sick for the rest of their lives and that is their path. I quit trying to help people. If they want to believe that when you get a certain age it is normal to take blood pressure meds, diabetic meds, cholesterol meds…so be it. It’s their money to waste and their life span to shorten. I know that society is going to get a clue one day about how the powers that be have been purposely making the people of this planet sick…it’s just a matter of time. I do hope though that I get to see it in my lifetime.

Yesterday was my second time of using the EES treatment. There were more people in the room this time, which is encouraging and a bit sad. Encouraging that people are trying other treatments that are not invasive to the body or require you to take a pill to cover up a symptom. Sad because people are even having to search out these types of modalities. This means that the medical system failed them. Additionally, I’m proud and worried at the same time. Proud that, so far, I’ve seen only women using the treatment…sad that they are having to do so in the first place but also…no men. Why aren’t the men using the treatment?

My reactions to the treatment this time are similar but I feel like I went into the treatment feeling sick to begin with. My body got too cold the day before, which usually, makes me feel achy and displaying cold symptoms. Running nose, achy body…still very cold. The rain and traffic did not help me be relaxed when I arrived either. But…I felt tingling around my left eye today…some tingling on my face and the coolness in my solar plexus. This leads me to believe that this treatment is getting rid of my inflammation that seems to be in my body most of the time. I know that I need to make some food changes to keep these results working but…habits die hard. I feel that, if I could have some anti-inflammatory teas already made up and in the fridge and have plenty of cooling herbs and fruit at my finger tips…I’d have something to grab rather than craving the sugar. Purging the cupboards would help because there are plenty of things that are in there that are not helpful to my body and none of it my husband touches anyway…so a good pantry and cupboard purge would help. Additionally, after using the EES, one is supposed to take pink salt bathes…not Epsom salt bathes…Epsom salts are not even salts….but using pink Himalayan sea salt help pull the toxins out of your body.

I will be using the EES again in a couple weeks. No, insurance does not cover the cost but sometimes we just have to step up to the plate and care about ourselves more than the Sick Care system that is forced upon us.

On my way to my very first Energy Enhancement System (EES) session, Raven met me at the stop sign. I paused to check traffic and noticed Raven up above, coming from my left. I bid good day to him and turned right. He flew above me at 35 mph until I got the the stop light. When one sees Raven, it means a change, a start of something new, that you are on the right path for you. I took this as a good sign because I did not know what to expect at my EES session. Today is a research day, a day to see and experience what others have talked about and given good testimonials about.
I do not fully understand the way EES works but I liken it to something God designed and some super, intelligent humans constructed it so people could use it to better their health. I’ve not read a bad testimonial as of yet. I am looking forward to posting my testimonial after I have sat with my results for a week or so.
The healing center I went to is called Divine Living Ministries located in Tacoma. It is a PMA (Private Membership Association) and I am pleased by this. Their set-up is very unconventional and un-spa-like. I liked it this way. It was focused on the devices that help your body heal and not all wrapped up in the fancy and frills that usually get added to your costs.
The room sat eight and there were two other ladies already doing their sessions when I got there, so I did not feel un-safe. I would try to explain what the devices looked like but you can look that up yourself. I am going to focus on what I felt and what I walked away with.
About 30 minutes into the session, the right side of my face and jaw started to tingle. I have felt this sensation in the past when two ladies were doing Reiki on me. I felt a tingling where I had a pre-cancerous mole removed. It was like their healing went deeper than the surgery occurred and their healing energy was catching cells that were missed. Anyhow, back to my EES session….I am unaware if I have some rogue cells in my face but maybe I do and this session helped point them in the right direction for healing. I sat in the EES room for two hours. This is a long time of being still that I am not used to. It is different when you can hunker down and take a nap for two hours at home but I was afraid to fall asleep and accidentally go past my two hours. About 1-1/2 hours into the session, my body got really warm and fluffy feeling. My face started to feel like it was floating away…almost like the cells were leaving my face and dispersing to the wind…like I was turning into dust. Once my session was over, I put my shoes on and gathered myself up to leave. On my drive back home, I tried to process what I was feeling. I felt different but was unsure what exactly had changed. I realized my vision was sharper. I felt lighter in my body. It was easier to breathe. The area around my diaphragm felt freer. The space above my naval, about a six inch circle felt empty, cool….I realized that it possibly meant that the area was less inflamed. I have a hiatal hernia in this area and maybe the EES session reduce the inflammation. It makes a bit of sense…freer breathing, feeling of coolness in that spot.
I am excited to see what changes continue to occur as the week goes on. I will do another two hour session in a couple weeks because I want to see if there are additional changes to my health. I will continue my research on this EES modality. I want my opinion on it based upon experience and not based upon others feedback.
I hope you try this EES modality out too. If you do, let me know in a comment how it went for you.

I was outside pottying the pup…looking up at the stars…looking for my favorite constellation, The Seven Sisters….upon finding it, I thought to myself…I do not deserve to be treated poorly. Once that thought left my head…a shooting star crossed the exact spot I was looking at…See? Even the Universe knows it to be true.

I wish others knew this too.

** Here is a link to my article that was posted on elephant journal in case you would like to check out some other good reads posted by some other good humans: https://www.elephantjournal.com/2022/11/speak-up-for-the-human-race/ **

I heard about what has been happening in Iran a couple days ago. I wondered if anyone that I followed on YouTube was going to say something about it….the following video is the first one I have seen addressing it. These incarcerated people are part of us. They are part of the only race that counts: the human race. They are being punished for speaking up for their rights. The same thing happens here in the U.S., more subtly but, so far, we haven’t been put to death. I read in another article (but for the life of me, I cannot find it again) where the teenage girls who are currently incarcerated who are virgins cannot be put to death because they are “innocents”. So these virgins are being married to the prison guards, raped and then killed the next day. There always seems to be a work-around for evil religious extremists. I hope this video gets the attention it needs to stop bullshit deaths.

Most of us who are curious about meditation have seen them before but I did not know they were called hand mudras. Possibly the most common one is the Gyan mudra where the tips of the index finger and thumb touch creating a closed circle with the three remaining fingers held parallel to each other. We often see this hand gesture resting on the knees as a person is sitting cross-legged while meditating. Hand mudras work by activating the corresponding organ in the body to facilitate the flow of energy, Prana. ‘Mudra’ is a Sanskrit word that literally means ‘hand gesture’. During my research, I found lists for diabetes, weight loss, weight gain, relieving body pain, a healthy heart. I found a list of hand mudras that are most effective to lose weight, which is something that I am interested in doing. Surya mudra, Linga mudra, Kapha-Nashak mudra, Vaayan mudra and Gyan mudra all correspond with organs and bodily functions that relate to being over-weight.

I am setting a goal for myself to try this for 30 days and then evaluate any differences in my weight and my health. I am curious to see if the benefits will be visual or something inside that I cannot see but can feel. Even if I can only meditate ten minutes a day, that allows me to try each mudra for 2 minutes.

I am going to make time to test these mudras and see if they work for me. How about you? Are you interested in trying them out?

Do you smell it? Something different in the air is afoot. Tenseness? Anxiety? Electrified? Distraction? Freedom? Yes, it smells like the precursor to freedom. We seem to be living in crazy times right now but I think maybe it isn’t so much crazy but more like….change is coming. People don’t like change. But maybe that isn’t fully it. I think people don’t like the process of change. I mean, it can be uncomfortable sometimes. Sometimes it is a lot of work. People seem to want to spend their whole life hunkered down in their safe space. Living unchallenged lives, sheltered lives…missing out on so many opportunities.

It appears that we are in a process of great change. Many political happenings, people fighting over race and religious rights, some law enforcement being too aggressive at times…homelessness, addictions…angry people….there seems to be so much ENERGY shooting off of people. It can be hard to stay grounded while being around these people. But do it, you must!

In these chaotic times, do not look at the daily happenings as permanent. Things are in flux and who knows where they will all settle down to in the end. There is no sense in worrying about what you cannot control. You can only control yourself, your reactions and your responses to happenings that come your way. Sit back and observe so you can make an informed decision on whatever you need to decide upon. And then…ride the wave of change. Eventually you will make it to the beach.

Sometimes the Universe offers us opportunities to better ourselves or to help someone in need. I do not always heed these opportunities. Sometimes I don’t want to get engaged because of what helping someone might bring.  Most times it is good but sometimes you are inviting trouble in the door.

In 2011, I moved into my home and I did not know any of my neighbors, which was fine, as I am not the most social person in the world. One day, an older man who lived down the road and across the street came up to my home. He told me his name, Lawrence, welcomed me to the neighborhood and proceeded to remind me to vote. I thought it pretty funny because there are a lot of people who really don’t care about politics and think whomever is voted in would be fine or they are trying to convince you to vote for a certain candidate. Lawrence did not care who you voted for but he wanted to make sure you voted, as this was a right that many countries did not allow their citizens to do.

As the years went by, I would leave items at the end of my driveway that I no longer needed but didn’t want to take to Goodwill, as someone would have to pay for the item then. Sometimes Lawrence would stop and take what I had left. One time he needed help getting something in the back of his van and he asked for my help. He said he knew someone who could use it. After getting the item in the van, he grabbed some potatoes he had rolling around in the back of his van and gave them to me. He said that someone was giving them away and really, how many potatoes could a person really eat? You see, Lawrence wasn’t the one who always needed what was left for free but he always knew someone who could use it. I don’t think many people really knew this about Lawrence, only the ones who were on the receiving end of his generosity.  He wasn’t just gathering items to packrat away; he was helping his community. Sometimes he’d leave canned goods on my porch or slow down when I was mowing the lawn and hand me something he had picked up along his travels. Sometimes the items were expired but he thought they were still edible, regardless of the date. He wore worn bib overalls, work boots and drove a white paneled van. He drove 25 miles an hour. Everywhere. No faster. His house was very tiny and run down but it rested on 33 acres of gorgeous, wooded land. He was known in the local neighborhood as a hot head, dog killer, etc.  Yet….the dog was killing his geese, so shouldn’t he have the right to protect his property?  He complained about the dog but the owners didn’t seem to care. The owner said he threatened to kill their dog, then changed the story and said he threatened to kill them and their dog. Lawrence spent the night in jail for that one.  If one were to read the transcripts of the court hearing, you would walk away with the impression that Lawrence was an educated man. He knew the law. He knew his rights. He defended himself. The upset and emotional side won. Lawrence had to pay a fine on top of the night in jail.

The last time I talked to Lawrence was when he, once again, stopped by to remind me to vote. This time he didn’t ask who I was voting for but instead asked me if I had chosen someone yet. When I said, no…he stumbled backwards. Voting day was only 30 days away and I hadn’t chosen someone yet???  For once, Lawrence was rendered speechless. He was having trouble concentrating on what he wanted to say and he mentioned that he had had several strokes and they caused a bit of memory loss. Once he said this, he stopped talking and just stood there for a bit. He then said something that cracked my heart. He said, No one cares about me or what happens to me. I told him, surely that was not true. He said, No….it was true. His kids just wanted money. I waffled with how to respond but before I could make a decision, he said, Don’t forget vote!  He headed back to his van.  It wasn’t the last time I saw Lawrence but it was the last time I talked to him.

Over the years, I often wished I had responded quicker and offered a seat to talk about his feelings. I wish I had asked more questions and had shown him that there are people who care but some of us are afraid to step on toes or cross those invisible lines we have no idea we are crossing. As time passed, he stopped driving his van, someone else was driving him to where he needed to go…possibly his son, driving way faster than 25 mph, eventually for sale signs went up and I saw Lawrence no more. I mentioned to one of my neighbors that it looked like Lawrence’s kids were selling the land and she said, He doesn’t have any kids. Which means, someone was taking advantage of him, he had children or even the neighbors who lived closer to him than I didn’t know him either. This thought made me sad as they had lived there many more years than I.

I met the new owner of the land one day; he stopped while driving by. He mentioned he and his wife are working hard on cleaning up the junk yard. I wanted to say…it wasn’t junk…it was treasure to someone out there…Lawrence would have found a home for it if his body hadn’t started to fail…but instead, I just said…but it is a gorgeous piece of land….

I often wonder where Lawrence is or if he is still alive. I wish I had taken the opportunity to extend a hand to him, one of God’s fellow creations but I did not. I hope the next time the Universe gives me an opportunity, I won’t wonder what will happen if I do?” but instead wonder, “what if I don’t?”.

My sister and I, we have the same eyes. Well..not the same eyes but the same eye color. We also share the same birth mother. Sometimes the same hair style too. And that is where it ends with us. She would not know any of this as we had a falling out many years ago. I do not remember what year it was but I believe it was 2009. You see, I said some not so nice things to my sister, I was so tired of hearing how she was handling things in her life, how she portrayed everything wrong in her life as being someone else’s fault, how everyone else’s view point was wrong and I broke down and told her so. Sadly, she has never spoken to me or tried to make contact with me since that day. Apparently, she got the “hold a grudge” gene of the family. At the time, I was not very knowledgeable of mental illnesses and my sister has been diagnosed with many. I do not recall what all they were but they required many medications for her to function in life. She has three children and I cannot imagine trying to deal with mental illness and children at the same time. I know many people do but I do not know how I would be able to do it. Some of her meds made her almost catatonic, which was odd to see and be around. I know she tried her best, or as best as her meds would allow, in raising her children, managing a home and trying to figure out what she wanted to do in life. Sometimes mental illness does not help you do this well. Today though, I have much more insight on mental illness as I have worked with, been married to and helped others who suffer from mental illness. I have more compassion and adaptability to being around someone who suffers from a mental illness. Sometimes my sister posts a new photo of herself on her public Facebook profile. Only one time have I seen a photo of her that she appears to be truly happy in. I private messaged her when I saw this photo…she was so beautiful while standing outside and she looked so vibrant and happy to be alive…but she bitch slapped me with her response. You see, both my sister and I are adoptees. Same biological mother, different biological fathers. We each were raised and nurtured differently.  Each had different religions put in front of us, each had different traumas to occur, which helped form who we are to this day.  When I was searching for my bio-mom, I found out I had a half sister who had been put up for adoption like me. We each were searching for our bio-mom for different reasons. I do not think either one of us were expecting what we found. But…it is what it is and we had closed part of the circle of biological family.

I have two nephews and one niece through my sister. I would love to see them today, as they were very small the first and only time I have seen them.  But my sister would never allow any contact with them after we had a falling out. I wrote letters to the oldest two and sent them to their father in hopes he would give them to them. He did and my sister got pissed. See…she was treating her children like some divorced people do…they decide the viewpoint the children will have based upon their own perceptions of something. The children are not allowed to make a decision on their own and some divorcees feed their children a one-sided view. Maybe some day my niece and nephews will want to meet me and have a relationship. I think more than likely it will not happen. After hearing a one sided version of something for many years, it becomes a truth. Since they know no other version, it is one that will stick with them.  I suppose that not caring can play a role too. I am only a blood relative and since they were not raised to value that, it will not have value to them.  Maybe when they are older….they will get curious and come in search for me.